Just to be alive is a grand thing

Life has kicked my ass so hard the last few months. Divorce, appendix bursting, life threatening allergic reactions. I was trying so hard to do the right thing-I didn't realize I had let pure evil into my life.

I discovered a new Lula-one who wasn't afraid to go to the mall by herself, one who felt beautiful, strong, sexy-amazing in general.

Then all hell broke loose. Actually ended up spending a few days in the loony bin. In the words of my admitting psychiatrist-"This is the worst possible thing that could have happened to you." I keep trying to find the lesson in all this, because everything happens for a reason, right?

There is no lesson. I did everything right. I followed my heart, and I let down my walls, and I got burned. Bad. I lost myself pretty bad there for a minute.

I think the reason this happened to me is so I could help an amazing teenage girl who is hurting. This happening to me has enabled me to be her voice, and hopefully what happened to her will be a little less painful. I will speak for her, and hold my head high, and not be ashamed by the actions of another.

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing"-Agatha Christie

Wow...

Haven't been here in a while. I miss blogging-now that I have a job that actually requires me to work I have zero time. My life has changed dramatically the last few weeks-not sure if it's for the better yet, but I have a feeling everything will be ok.

I'm learning a lot-not only about myself on an emotional level, but also my ability to handle normal things in life, like paying bills, working a budget, etc...

Anyway, all is well, and today is a good day.

Random

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2 things...

#1-I really, really, REALLY thought I would take those whole aging shiz better than I am. New wrinkle? No bueno....Mid-life crisis in 3....2....

#2-I really thought that at some point I would get used to the physical side of my new job. Again, no bueno.

So, I shall sleep, because apparently that's what I do now.

That's what she said....

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

There she is!

And she's awake!

I can't even keep up with my life anymore...is this what it means to be in your 40's?

I get up, go to work, come home, do chores, in bed by 8, and start the whole cycle over. WAY too old for this shit....but....

I have really noticed myself becoming more..me...since I started this job. I no longer have an office to hide in, I actually have to deal with a shit ton of people on a daily basis. I've improved my social skills so much that I spent 3 hours at the mall recently and did NOT have a panic attack! Go me!

Now if I could just stay awake long enough to enjoy it.

Friday Funny

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

And the winner is.....nice Lula!

I had the following discussion today via text-

Random person:We're partying tonight!

Me: Who is this?

Random person: It's Allie.

Since I don't know an Allie, I decided to ignore it. Wrong number.

A few hours later-

Allie: So, what's going on tonight?

Me: I'm sorry, I don't know who you are.

Allie: Fuck you.

Me: Fuck you!

At this point I said to Hubbs "Who does she think I am, the random guy she fucked last night?"

A few minutes later-

Allie: I guess I'm not getting naked for you.

Boy was I wanting to mess with this girls head! But I just couldn't, too much.

Me: I didn't know naked was an option. Let me check with my husband.

Allie: I'm guessing this isn't Zach messing with me.

Me: No hon. You have the wrong number. But be safe in whatever you do.

Allie: Yeah....

Poor girl. All I could picture was her screwing some guy and him giving her a fake phone number. But-haha! I had to laugh.

I am easily amused.

Friday Funny

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Oh yeah...

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Cause I totally lost Friday....


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Friday Funny

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I'm baaaaaacccccccckkkkkkkkk!

I am once again a productive member of society. First full day on the job, and I am so happy I could just spit! It feels so good to have a reason to get up and dressed every morning, to have work to do and responsibility.

I swear in more ways than one, losing that stupid job was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Happy, HAPPY Monday!!

I know, I'm twisted

via

And so it ends....

Holy frickin cow I found a job! And I start tomorrow!

So random too-Hubbs sent me a link to a job that had been posted 3 weeks ago-not sure how I missed it, but somehow I did. Sent my resume yesterday, they called me today for an interview, and I was hired on the spot! I swear, I have never been so happy. It's such a huge weight off my shoulders, you have no idea.

Go me!!!!!

Friday Funny

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Thursday already?

This past week has FLOWN by. Part of it is due to the fact that I fell very far off the primal wagon Thanksgiving, then spent the next 5 days with a stomach bug. Or a carb bug. Whatever it was, I am just now starting to feel normal again.

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One of my dearest friends had been battling uterine and cervical cancer. She had a check up about 2 weeks ago, and they found more cancer cells. Surgery was scheduled for the week before Christmas-she was not happy. But, she had to have a procedure last week, they did another biopsy, and voila! No cancer cells were found. She still has to have surgery, but now there is no panicky rush to get it done-she can wait till after the new year. Pretty happy about that.

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I found not one but TWO jobs to apply for yesterday. Made me feel productive there for a minute.

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I had my yearly (well for me, bi-yearly because I keep blowing them off) mammogram. I'm proud of myself for finally getting it over with. Ladies, check the ta-ta's!

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And finally, we have a very busy weekend coming up. Hubbs is fixing my brakes Friday, taking a look at a friend's car Saturday, we're hanging Christmas lights (trying to keep Scrooge in check even though times are tough), and we have a family project to re-arrange the garage. Hubbs got another side job rebuilding an engine and we need to make room for the damn thing. He's been working his ass off between his full time job and any side job he can get. And all I do is bitch because I'm lonely and bored. Well, that's an exaggeration but that's how I feel. Poor pitiful Pearl.

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Happy Thursday!

Friday Funny

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Wasn't ready for this!

And our overnight forecast? 7 frickin degrees.

Happy Tuesday!

And that is why they voted no....

I just had the following conversation with my friend B-

Me: You know they are cutting off the extended unemployment benefits right?

B: What? That's it? That's all we get?

Me: Dick! You've been on it for 3 years and have turned down jobs. I'm actually trying, every day, to find a job and have been offered nothing.

B: Yeah well, I guess I should quit smoking pot.

Grrrrr...........