2 things...

#1-I really, really, REALLY thought I would take those whole aging shiz better than I am. New wrinkle? No bueno....Mid-life crisis in 3....2....

#2-I really thought that at some point I would get used to the physical side of my new job. Again, no bueno.

So, I shall sleep, because apparently that's what I do now.

More proof....

that the standard American diet is SHIT.

I was diagnosed with GERD/Acid Reflux. Have tried every medicine, cut out all spicy foods, etc...and had no relief.

Once I learned just how bad those medicines were, I quit taking them. Then I cut grains and processed foods out of my diet, and have had hardly a problem. I even ate a shit-ton of bacon wrapped jalapenos this weekend, with no problems.

Last night, I had half of a whole wheat sandwich thin, and I have been suffering ever since. And I mean bad suffering, to where I woke up this morning and my throat was on fire.

When will the government get on board with what is really good for us, instead of their subsidized money making bullshit crops? (Never, I know. Grain is king!)

Stupid food pyramid.

Blah

Still sick. Meds still making me feel like shit. Still have no motivation to work out-though I did bench press and do 1 set of squats last night.

Just BLAH.

Watch and learn people!

High as a KITE

So yes, I've had a sinus infection for 4 months. It's all coming together now-the exhaustion, not wanting to work out, trouble sleeping (because I usually sleep on my right side but have been unable to, and sleeping on my left makes my reflux act up)

This uber strong antibiotic I'm on has left me high, oh so very high. Like why did I come in here, what's that thing called, never mind-OOPS! There's a wall there!-high.

Shit better work, and quick. I would really REALLY like the energy to lift weights Saturday, somehow I've managed not to gain a shit ton of weight but I do feel flabby.

Though I'm considering posting a picture of my biceps, cause DAMN! How'd I get so buff?

Ramble on, high girl. Ramble on.

Rant

I just got back from the eye doctor, and IT'S NOT MY EYE. I've been dealing with this shit for 4 months, and he just told me he thinks it's a sinus infection.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Another appointment tomorrow to treat this now. I swear to GOD, every time something is wrong with me it turns in to this lengthy, drawn out, expensive process. Either the doctors in this godforsaken town are fucking idiots or I'm a freak. Probably a little of both.

SHIT.

And now my eyes hurt.

Dumbfucker

My therapist recommended a book to me, "The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook". It's already been quite helpful in teaching me to control my emotions.

Yesterdays worksheet was about values, and while I was filling it out I realized that alcohol is interfering with my values, which is resulting in me feeling bad about myself. As a wife, as a mother, as a person who cares about her health.

I hate it when I have these huge profound moments that have been right in front of my face the whole god damn time.

Anyway, trying AGAIN. Aiming for a sober weekend with the family.

The reward (besides the obvious) will be a family dinner out next Friday night. I do love going out to eat.

Besides that, I'm sick (still), my eye is infected (again), and I'm quite bitchy. I would like to just feel like a normal human being for a quick minute instead of this congested eye infected GOON.

Tuesdays = bad

At least this week...

Remember how I said I was so anxious for 2010 to start? Just to get over the drama and stress of last year?

Every week, since January 1st, something lame and stressful and all around fucked has happened, starting with my eye infection on January 2nd.

This week-

My dearest friend had a seizure last night. No longer able to drive, tests, medical bills, etc... My heart breaks for her.

Hubbs had some blood work a while back, and the test came back showing he has low blood sodium. One of the causes of low blood sodium? (Which I finally got around to investigating today) Excessive beer drinking. Hello, alcoholism. Can't pretend anymore. (Though in his defense, he drinks over a gallon of water a day and is on high blood pressure meds-diuretics. And we don't eat processed food)

Today was just so high stress-worried about my friend, realizing that yes, we are probably alcoholics. And of course stress makes me want to drink, which I can't do anymore for several reasons.

Knocked off the getting my shit together horse, but god damn, I am jumping right back on.

I can drive Dear One to work- relieve some of her stress, and get to spend a little extra time with her.

Finally, a real reason to quit drinking-since none of my other real reasons have stuck.

This too shall pass.

Right?

So damn sick

I have been sick for a solid week, and now Hubbs has it. I'm just barely starting to feel better-hopefully I'll be up to my old tricks here soon.

Wow.

As much as I love Thanksgiving, I'm REALLY glad it's over. It was such a whirlwind of activity, I hardly took any pictures, and I feel like I didn't really get anything done over that entire 4 day weekend.

Dinner was delicious, I get better at making this meal every year. I even made homemade gravy for the first time, and it wasn't bad at all. The dishes the guys made were awesome as well-and it was really nice having a bit of help.

Now I feel like I need to focus on, basically, getting my shit together. I ate, drank, and smoked WAY more than I had planned to (self control? what self control?) and I am still suffering the effects of a massive carb overload. I know it's not good to try to quit too many things at once, but the drinking and smoking really need to get handled. I'm back to not drinking on week nights, which naturally cuts my smoking in half. I'll get that down for a week or two than it's time to get serious about cigarettes. I hate them-they smell, they're gross, and they are killing me. Plus they're expensive-smoking really doesn't make any sense.

Anyhow, my holiday was wonderful, as I hope it was for everyone. Time to get back on track.

Progress!

We took our measurements this morning, and not only did I drop a few more pounds (133.5!) but I've lost another inch off my waist and hips. It seems to be a very slow process, but what I'm doing is working. Pretty proud of that.

Shocked, shocked I tells ya!

Since starting on this weight loss/healthy living journey, my goals have changed many times. My weight loss goals have changed, the type of food I want to eat has changed, my workouts have changed, etc..

I was a firm believer in calories in/calories out. I thought low carb dieting was bullshit, and I was sure that working out to various dvd's as well as doing 20 minutes of cardio a day would get me the results I wanted.

Granted, I did lose the initial 20 pounds that way, but my body still didn't look like I wanted it to, and I still, after all this time, could never hit the magical weight of 135 pounds. I was "skinny fat"-thin but not toned. I was somewhat in shape, but I was not strong.

Today, after following my new plan for about 1-2 months, I hit 135.5. I could not believe my eyes!

I've been following the advice of Mark, from Mark's Daily Apple. I had been a reader of his site for a very long time, but I didn't quite believe the majority of his advice. Eliminate processed foods? No problem. But cut out my cardio? Give up my low cal bread and wraps? No WAY!

I finally decided to jump into it once I realized I was truly getting no where.

Now, I spend FAR less time working out, I basically eat whatever I want (avoiding grains and high carb fruits)and I've never been happier!

I do still have the occasional sandwich, and of course beer (and candy!) but I do follow the 80/20 rule (eat right 80% of the time, 20% can be cheating). And I don't only do it for weight loss-once I learned the effect sugar and grains have on your body it was kind of easy to quit.

I am still battling beer and candy-but overall I am 99% better than I was a year ago. I'm stronger, healthier, and I have never looked better!

For more information on Mark and his Primal Blueprint, click here.

Here we go again

Blah blah blah low carb blah blah blah off the wagon blah blah blah quit drinking for 2 weeks.

I'm pretty sure I've said all this before, but we're trying the no drinking thing again-weekends included. Just for two weeks, but I'm really curious to see if alcohol makes that much difference in the way my body looks. I still have some stubborn belly fat that doesn't seem to want to budge. And getting hammered every weekend, which in turn makes me blow off working out, is not helping.

Besides, I'm looking forward to a weekend that doesn't go by in a blur.

Randomness

Hubbs pointed out to me last night that since I've been taking chromium, I'm much more level. So not only do I feel better, but my loved ones are noticing a difference. I am truly shocked at how much of a difference it has made. There were times when I would get so manic I couldn't even think straight. My head would be so full of so many things I would literally be frozen on my feet-unable to move because I couldn't decide what to do next. I don't even remember the last time I felt that way. And I've had NO immobilizing depression either. I'm very pleased.

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I added 10 pounds to my squat weight on Monday, and GOOD GOD am I feeling it today! If you would have asked me a year ago to even attempt a squat, bar only, I would have laughed in your face. I'm getting stronger and feeling better every day.

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On the flip side of that, I'm catching myself nit picking my body to death. In the last 2 years I've lost over 20 pounds, dropped 2 clothing sizes, and even bought a new bikini. And yet, I'm still not happy. I have such a warped body image that I can't decide if I really need to lose more weight or if it's just my crazy talking to me.

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Low carb dieting-it's awesome that the weight stays off with hardly any effort. Cutting my carbs and eliminating processed food allows me to pretty much do what I want and not see a difference in the scale. Even when I splurge like we did this past weekend (3 sandwiches and a bacon cheeseburger, heaven!)the scale hardly moves. My weight is lower now than it was last Friday.

The sucky thing-we spend HOURS in the kitchen. Every night it's this huge process getting our meals ready for the next day. So last night we decided to make and pack 3 days worth of food instead of our usual 1 or 2. That means tonight we can work out, have dinner, and actually spend some time together NOT in the kitchen.

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Our glorious honeymoon is about to come to an end. Youngest comes home Tuesday, so it's time to act like grown ups and be parents again. But I have to say, the past few months have been wonderful. I feel closer to my husband than I ever have.

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Happy Wednesday!

The one when Lula rethinks this whole carb business

When I first heard of low carb dieting several years ago, I thought "What could be more dumb than that? Carbs = energy, carbs are our friends."

Then I decided to jump on the bandwagon because I was having trouble losing those last few pounds of (mostly) belly fat.

Lo and behold, the weight is melting off. The trade off-I feel like HELL. No energy, I'm having trouble concentrating, and I was too spent to even work out last night. I've been keeping my carbs between 40-70 on any given day, and that number is just too low for me. My new goal is 80-100 grams per day.

This morning I had a half serving of oatmeal with berries and almonds, and I already feel better. So the great carb experiment wasn't a fail, but I did need to find what works for me.

The pisser? When I weighed myself this morning I was down to 136.5. With hardly any effort. I think I've only seen that number once in the past 2 years, and I'm pretty sure it was after surgery.

Hopefully this number will work for me as well, and give me the energy to lift those damn heavy weights!

So....

Have you ever had so much to drink that you woke up the next day wondering what stupid things you did and who you need to apologize to?

Yeah, me either....

Seriously, that's what I feel like since I cut my carbs. I feel like my body and brain are just soaked in mud-everything is heavy, I have no energy, and my brain just isn't working right.

Though I am proud to say I came home tonight and did my weight lifting with my husband-curls, chest flys, bench presses, and squats. And I actually did my squats 10 pounds heavier than last time.

I'm really looking forward to this feeling going away, but for now-I am DONE.

Need......carbs.....

I'm having a little trouble adjusting to this low carb diet. I've been keeping my numbers to between 60 and 80 (down from as high as 183+) and my body feels weary. I know the theory is to train your body to get it's energy from stored fat instead of carbs, but it sure is a tiring road.

And I am about sick of EGGS. That's how it looks in my head-EGGS EGGS EGGS. I had berries and a fat free Greek yogurt for breakfast today because I just couldn't face another EGG. Not sure yet what I'm going to be doing from here on out, so if anyone has any low carb breakfast ideas let me know. I'm thinking just meat. Slab o'beef and a hunk of cheese. Bacon and cheese wrapped in lettuce. Oh, and cutting your carbs makes you slightly goofy, if you haven't noticed.

Once again, I would like to sing the praises of Chromium. I'm still on this nice even keel. I've actually been pretty happy this week, which is rare for me. I'm never happy 5 or more days in a row.

Loving life!

Holy cow, ya'll!

I did a TON better with my carbs yesterday-my calorie breakdown was as follows-

Carbs 48g (25%)
Protein 75g (39%)
Fat 30g (35%)

I also weight trained with Hubbs, and damn those bastards are heavy! I can bench press a whopping 55 pounds!

But check this out-I started Monday at 142 pounds-this morning I was 137.5. Yes, you read that right. 137.5! Apparently low carb diets cause you to lose a lot of water weight, but still. It felt pretty good to see such a drop in numbers. It usually takes me all week to recover from the damage I do to myself on the weekends.

It's also making me realize that I may not lose the body fat I have by hitting my goal weight of 135. I understand you have to lose the fat to see the muscle, and it all settles around my midsection. I think it's more than 2 1/2 pounds, but we shall see. The low carbs plus weight training might be enough to make the difference.

All in all, I am exceptionally happy right now. I'm very sore, but it feels good knowing I pushed my limits with the weights. I had an awesome evening with my husband, and the numbers on the scale are going down instead of up.

Life is good.

My body WILL obey!

As I mentioned, my body is no longer reacting the way I want it to. The disclaimer, of course, is I sneak a lot of candy, I drink a lot of beer, and it's been easier and easier to blow off my workouts.

Yesterday was day one of my new routine, and I didn't do too bad. My calorie breakdown was-

98 grams carbs (29%)
110 grams protein (33%)
55 grams fat (37%)

The percentages are not per the governments recommended daily allowance, just what percent of my overall calories were what. And the fat is all healthy fats, from salmon, eggs, and avocados. The carbs are WAY higher than what I wanted, but hey-it was my first day. I'm aiming to keep them at 80 grams or less per day, or about 20% off my overall caloric intake.

I also did about 20 minutes of a workout DVD-which was about 10 minutes from finishing, but my back is so sunburned I just couldn't roll around on the floor anymore.

I measured myself this morning, and strangely enough, I've lost .5 inches around my hips and just below my belly button. I don't know what that area is called, it's the spot where low rise jeans hit. The new millennium waist? My natural waist has stayed the same, but that's ok. Since I started this new way of life 2 years ago, I've lost 17 pounds, 2 inches off my waist, and 2.5 inches off my hips.

I'm really curious what this new weight lifting routine will do for me. My goal is to finally hit 135 and stay there, and lose 2 more inches off my waist and hips. Whether that's possible, I don't know. We shall see! I'll post occasional updates, especially regarding the low carb diet. I've heard so much about it, I'm curious to see if it really works.

The Wonder Drug

I'm telling you, chromium is a wonder drug. If you suffer from depression but can't tolerate anti-depressants, please give this a try. It can change your life.

As some of you may remember, a few months back we had a problem with our pipes backing up. We called a plumber, who quoted us one price, then showed up to our house and doubled his quote. Hubbs was so mad he chased him off with a plunger in his hand. (snicker) Then the problem just fixed itself, so we blew it off.

Monday night, it happened again. We poured Drano down both showers, and went to bed, assuming (like asses) that it would magically fix itself by morning like it did last time.

No such luck. We called a plumber, then both called in to work, because really, who shows up without showering? Well, actually there's a really stinky guy here who does, but that's beside the point right now.

So, 5 hours later, after having to use the bathroom at our local grocery store (Thanks for not looking at us weird Save-Mart employees!) the plumber showed up and snaked our drain. And gave us the wonderful news that the problem is a tree root which had busted through our pipe.

Deep breath.

Cost to fix? $1600.00.

Deep breath.

It's fixed for now, but he wouldn't give us more than a 7 day warranty on the snake job, because the pipe needs to be replaced like NOW.

I'm lucky enough to be married to a husband who can fix ANYTHING, and he's lucky enough to know someone who has a trench digging thingie (technical term), so we won't have to pay $1600, just the cost of the materials and our own labor.

Now, during all this drama yesterday, just when I would really expect to drop into my depression like a pitiful rock, I felt.....normal. Slightly stressed over the situation, and obviously uncomfortable, but I did not get my usual bone crushing case of the sads like I normally get when something like this happens.

Weird, huh? I really think it's the chromium. After I realized this last night, I also realized that I have been on an even keel ever since I started taking it, about 1 1/2 months ago. No mania, and no depression. For over a month.

Wow. What a simple fix to a lifelong problem.