Things you might not know about schizophrenia, in comic book form. There but for the grace of God go any of us.
Quite a few of us go there, actually.
link via mentalfloss.com
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Shit.
I hate it when I flip for really no apparent reason. Yesterday not only was I bitchy and mean, I ate every single thing that was put in front of me, good for me or not. Mostly not.
So now I'm left wondering what the hell just happened. I've been doing so well lately.
Here's what I think.
1. My little sneaking bits of carbs and sugar are messing with my moods. I swear, it seems like the more I binge, the more my moods go haywire. So, that's easily fixed. I really expected to gain like 3 pounds after yesterday-you know it's bad when you're too embarrassed to tell your husband what you ate. But I didn't, I actually dropped. I feel like I dodged a bullet with that one, so my resolve is much stronger today.
2. When interviewing for the Crisis Call Center, they asked if I had overcome my various "issues". Apparently the training is very intensive and brings up a lot of painful emotions. "Of course! My mental health is stellar! I'll be fine!" Which is for the most part true, but now I'm wondering if I'm doing a little "checking out", mentally preparing myself for the floodgates to open here in a week. That is actually one of the worse things I do-isolate, get wrapped up in myself, and totally lose the ability to communicate.
I guess time will tell with both issues. But I feel I have at least identified what could be wrong, (and being aware is the first step blah blah blah) because really those are the only two things that have changed.
Well, that and the fact that one of the diamonds fell out of my wedding ring yesterday. That REALLY pissed me off-especially since I will never buy (or receive) another diamond again. Makes fixing it a little difficult.
So now I'm left wondering what the hell just happened. I've been doing so well lately.
Here's what I think.
1. My little sneaking bits of carbs and sugar are messing with my moods. I swear, it seems like the more I binge, the more my moods go haywire. So, that's easily fixed. I really expected to gain like 3 pounds after yesterday-you know it's bad when you're too embarrassed to tell your husband what you ate. But I didn't, I actually dropped. I feel like I dodged a bullet with that one, so my resolve is much stronger today.
2. When interviewing for the Crisis Call Center, they asked if I had overcome my various "issues". Apparently the training is very intensive and brings up a lot of painful emotions. "Of course! My mental health is stellar! I'll be fine!" Which is for the most part true, but now I'm wondering if I'm doing a little "checking out", mentally preparing myself for the floodgates to open here in a week. That is actually one of the worse things I do-isolate, get wrapped up in myself, and totally lose the ability to communicate.
I guess time will tell with both issues. But I feel I have at least identified what could be wrong, (and being aware is the first step blah blah blah) because really those are the only two things that have changed.
Well, that and the fact that one of the diamonds fell out of my wedding ring yesterday. That REALLY pissed me off-especially since I will never buy (or receive) another diamond again. Makes fixing it a little difficult.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
What. The. Frick.
Irritable? Check
Emotional to the point of tears? Check
Argumentative? Check
Carb binge? Check-no "good" carbs for me either, no way.
Sugar binge? Check
I have no idea what the frick is going on with me.
Emotional to the point of tears? Check
Argumentative? Check
Carb binge? Check-no "good" carbs for me either, no way.
Sugar binge? Check
I have no idea what the frick is going on with me.
Friday, September 25, 2009
I'm in!
I just got back from my interview at the Crisis Call Center-and I'm in!
The interview was very intense-tears were shed, hugs were dispensed-and at the end of it she said "Ok, see you October 7th for training."
I was shocked-"I'm in?"
"Yes, see you then!"
She also said that I have overcome so much, and that I have a lot be proud of. That made me feel good-it's nice hearing it from other people every now and again.
The training is going to be a little intense, especially the first week. But I'm really looking forward to this new adventure.
Go me!
The interview was very intense-tears were shed, hugs were dispensed-and at the end of it she said "Ok, see you October 7th for training."
I was shocked-"I'm in?"
"Yes, see you then!"
She also said that I have overcome so much, and that I have a lot be proud of. That made me feel good-it's nice hearing it from other people every now and again.
The training is going to be a little intense, especially the first week. But I'm really looking forward to this new adventure.
Go me!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Shocked, shocked I tells ya!
Since starting on this weight loss/healthy living journey, my goals have changed many times. My weight loss goals have changed, the type of food I want to eat has changed, my workouts have changed, etc..
I was a firm believer in calories in/calories out. I thought low carb dieting was bullshit, and I was sure that working out to various dvd's as well as doing 20 minutes of cardio a day would get me the results I wanted.
Granted, I did lose the initial 20 pounds that way, but my body still didn't look like I wanted it to, and I still, after all this time, could never hit the magical weight of 135 pounds. I was "skinny fat"-thin but not toned. I was somewhat in shape, but I was not strong.
Today, after following my new plan for about 1-2 months, I hit 135.5. I could not believe my eyes!
I've been following the advice of Mark, from Mark's Daily Apple. I had been a reader of his site for a very long time, but I didn't quite believe the majority of his advice. Eliminate processed foods? No problem. But cut out my cardio? Give up my low cal bread and wraps? No WAY!
I finally decided to jump into it once I realized I was truly getting no where.
Now, I spend FAR less time working out, I basically eat whatever I want (avoiding grains and high carb fruits)and I've never been happier!
I do still have the occasional sandwich, and of course beer (and candy!) but I do follow the 80/20 rule (eat right 80% of the time, 20% can be cheating). And I don't only do it for weight loss-once I learned the effect sugar and grains have on your body it was kind of easy to quit.
I am still battling beer and candy-but overall I am 99% better than I was a year ago. I'm stronger, healthier, and I have never looked better!
For more information on Mark and his Primal Blueprint, click here.
I was a firm believer in calories in/calories out. I thought low carb dieting was bullshit, and I was sure that working out to various dvd's as well as doing 20 minutes of cardio a day would get me the results I wanted.
Granted, I did lose the initial 20 pounds that way, but my body still didn't look like I wanted it to, and I still, after all this time, could never hit the magical weight of 135 pounds. I was "skinny fat"-thin but not toned. I was somewhat in shape, but I was not strong.
Today, after following my new plan for about 1-2 months, I hit 135.5. I could not believe my eyes!
I've been following the advice of Mark, from Mark's Daily Apple. I had been a reader of his site for a very long time, but I didn't quite believe the majority of his advice. Eliminate processed foods? No problem. But cut out my cardio? Give up my low cal bread and wraps? No WAY!
I finally decided to jump into it once I realized I was truly getting no where.
Now, I spend FAR less time working out, I basically eat whatever I want (avoiding grains and high carb fruits)and I've never been happier!
I do still have the occasional sandwich, and of course beer (and candy!) but I do follow the 80/20 rule (eat right 80% of the time, 20% can be cheating). And I don't only do it for weight loss-once I learned the effect sugar and grains have on your body it was kind of easy to quit.
I am still battling beer and candy-but overall I am 99% better than I was a year ago. I'm stronger, healthier, and I have never looked better!
For more information on Mark and his Primal Blueprint, click here.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Moving Forward
So not drinking over the weekend? FAIL. But I don't feel too badly about it. My weight is lower than it was last Monday, I spent quality time with my husband, my kid, and my girlfriend, and nothing terrible happened. So there ya go.
Friday I have an appointment at the Crisis Call Center to interview for the volunteer position. I am very nervous for a variety of reasons-what keeps running through my brain the most is the fact that I can't even read the news without crying, will I really be able to keep it together and help someone in a crisis? I guess there's only one way to find out. I'm hoping that helping others will not only get me out of my own damn head for a minute, but will maybe help give me the tools so the world just doesn't hurt me so much.
Friday I have an appointment at the Crisis Call Center to interview for the volunteer position. I am very nervous for a variety of reasons-what keeps running through my brain the most is the fact that I can't even read the news without crying, will I really be able to keep it together and help someone in a crisis? I guess there's only one way to find out. I'm hoping that helping others will not only get me out of my own damn head for a minute, but will maybe help give me the tools so the world just doesn't hurt me so much.
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