Friday, May 4, 2012

Just to be alive is a grand thing

Life has kicked my ass so hard the last few months. Divorce, appendix bursting, life threatening allergic reactions. I was trying so hard to do the right thing-I didn't realize I had let pure evil into my life.

I discovered a new Lula-one who wasn't afraid to go to the mall by herself, one who felt beautiful, strong, sexy-amazing in general.

Then all hell broke loose. Actually ended up spending a few days in the loony bin. In the words of my admitting psychiatrist-"This is the worst possible thing that could have happened to you." I keep trying to find the lesson in all this, because everything happens for a reason, right?

There is no lesson. I did everything right. I followed my heart, and I let down my walls, and I got burned. Bad. I lost myself pretty bad there for a minute.

I think the reason this happened to me is so I could help an amazing teenage girl who is hurting. This happening to me has enabled me to be her voice, and hopefully what happened to her will be a little less painful. I will speak for her, and hold my head high, and not be ashamed by the actions of another.

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing"-Agatha Christie


Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Wow...

Haven't been here in a while. I miss blogging-now that I have a job that actually requires me to work I have zero time. My life has changed dramatically the last few weeks-not sure if it's for the better yet, but I have a feeling everything will be ok.

I'm learning a lot-not only about myself on an emotional level, but also my ability to handle normal things in life, like paying bills, working a budget, etc...

Anyway, all is well, and today is a good day.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Sunday, April 3, 2011

2 things...

#1-I really, really, REALLY thought I would take those whole aging shiz better than I am. New wrinkle? No bueno....Mid-life crisis in 3....2....

#2-I really thought that at some point I would get used to the physical side of my new job. Again, no bueno.

So, I shall sleep, because apparently that's what I do now.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

That's what she said....

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

There she is!

And she's awake!

I can't even keep up with my life anymore...is this what it means to be in your 40's?

I get up, go to work, come home, do chores, in bed by 8, and start the whole cycle over. WAY too old for this shit....but....

I have really noticed myself becoming more..me...since I started this job. I no longer have an office to hide in, I actually have to deal with a shit ton of people on a daily basis. I've improved my social skills so much that I spent 3 hours at the mall recently and did NOT have a panic attack! Go me!

Now if I could just stay awake long enough to enjoy it.

Friday, February 4, 2011