Monday, May 24, 2010

It's a girl!

Youngest has a friend, we'll call her Daughter. Daughter's mom is....honestly, I don't even know what to say. The mom moved in with her boyfriend and left Daughter home alone to fend for herself. Well, she dropped off groceries once a week. Daughter also has a 16 year old sister that was left at home too-she just moved in with her boyfriend.

I understand people going through hard times, and getting all whacked in the head about their new man, but COME ON. Daughter is 14 years old! I asked her what she ate for lunch and do you know what she said? "Friend's food."

So she lives with us now. Her mom said "I don't want people thinking I'm a bad mother who just abandoned my daughter."

And you know, I'm trying not to be judgy. When it comes to not being able to take care of your kids I am the last person in the world to make that judgment call. But something about this is just rubbing me the wrong way, and I'm not sure what it is.

And I'm scared. I'm afraid we can't afford it, I'm afraid I'm going to get attached and some B.S. is going to happen. I'm afraid the mom is coming for her in a month, and I'm afraid the mom won't come for her at all.

But after seeing the inside of her house and hearing the stories of how she just basically lives alone, there is no way in hell we could have let that go on.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Slogging along.....

I've resigned myself to the fact that life flies by, and will continue to do so. I'm no longer shocked when suddenly it's Friday and I'm getting ready to start another weekend. Then, just as suddenly, it's Monday and time to go back to work. Before you know it, I'll be old and gray and wondering where the hell it all went.


Youngest has had no more problems at school as of now. Attacker is still suspended, until Thursday I believe. A 10 day suspension and some time in juvenile hall, plus an upcoming court date. Hopefully that's enough for the little fucker to think twice next time. I still would have preferred to beat someone's ass, but "blah blah set an example for the kid blah blah blah".

Life is, in general, very good. The moments that I can put aside my concerns for my child's safety and every other stupid fucking thing that gets my head going are awesome moments indeed!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I will DIE before I let you in!


More proof....

that the standard American diet is SHIT.

I was diagnosed with GERD/Acid Reflux. Have tried every medicine, cut out all spicy foods, etc...and had no relief.

Once I learned just how bad those medicines were, I quit taking them. Then I cut grains and processed foods out of my diet, and have had hardly a problem. I even ate a shit-ton of bacon wrapped jalapenos this weekend, with no problems.

Last night, I had half of a whole wheat sandwich thin, and I have been suffering ever since. And I mean bad suffering, to where I woke up this morning and my throat was on fire.

When will the government get on board with what is really good for us, instead of their subsidized money making bullshit crops? (Never, I know. Grain is king!)

Stupid food pyramid.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Shut it



Oh Monday, you SUCK!!

I actually had an excellent weekend. It was nice to not have to worry about Youngest for a quick minute.

On the one hand I don't think he'll have any more problems at school, but on the other I'm freaking out. Some girl approached him and said "You really had to have blah blah arrested?" And Youngest was like "Damn right."

I've been in contact with a support group, and according to them we did all the right things, from pressing charges and notifying the school to making sure the hate crime charge was applied.

My heart is still broken, and I'm still having trouble breathing. I can't wait for this fricking school year to be over.


Mother's Day was really nice. Received some lovely gifts, and my "new daughter" got me a really sweet card. Though we watched District 9, which I found to be incredibly sad. Not recommended Mother's Day watching.

New week, less drama. At least one can hope.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Now I want a sammich.

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My worst nightmare, part 2

Attacker arrested and suspended from school.Good, right? You'd think I'd relax a little. But no, the attacker has friends. Friends who are now giving my son the ole side eye at school.

They have all been warned by the principal that retaliation will bring terrible things upon them and their families.

But still.....

I can't handle this, living in fear. I don't know if I'm blowing it out of proportion or not, all I know is my son was hurt, who do I need to beat? Grrr, Mama bear.

Actually, my husband made me promise I wouldn't beat anybody up. I was on my way to finagle a home address out of the school then go beat down the mom for raising such a horrible, intolerant child. But I promised. So no beatings from me.

We're taking it day by day, his safety. Does he feel threatened, afraid to walk home?

I've never wanted the end of a school year to come so quickly.

I keep cruising the internet, looking for something, anything, I'm not sure what. Support? Someone else who really understands how terrified I am? A solution?

I feel like it's me against the world right now. A horrible, hateful, intolerant world.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

My worst nightmare

Hate crimes (also known as bias-motivated crimes) occur when a perpetrator targets a victim because of his or her perceived membership in a certain social group, usually defined by racial group, religion, sexual orientation, disability, class, ethnicity, nationality, age, gender, gender identity, or political affiliation.

My son was assaulted after school yesterday, and yes, it's classified as a hate crime. The police are investigating and are expecting to make an arrest hopefully today.

I've lived in fear of this day since he was a little boy. What kind of children are we raising where our kids think it's ok to attack someone just because they are different? And how the hell am I supposed to keep him safe in this kind of world? Do we need to fear retaliation now? Do I need to escort him to and from school for the rest of the year? How do I keep him safe?

My heart is broken. And I am absolutely terrified that next time it will be worse.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


Still sick. Meds still making me feel like shit. Still have no motivation to work out-though I did bench press and do 1 set of squats last night.

Just BLAH.