Sober week, day 3

Which was actually last night, but I'm lazy.....

The good news is, I have identified a trigger-getting off of work early! After all the snow and dangerous roads Hubbs picked me up about 2, and my brain was like "Woo hoo! Party time! Let's drink and play in the snow and wrap gifts!"

I did have 2 cups of hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps-love that stuff. But not enough to even feel it-does that count as cheating?

The bad news is, after those 2 cups I wanted more-beer beer beer! But I didn't-I took half of a xanax and just went about my business-went to bed early, and woke up very glad that I was able to fight the temptation (with Hubbs' help).

Baby steps....

Snow!

We woke up to about 6 inches of snow this morning-and it is still coming down.















Damn I wish adults got snow days!

Sober week, day 2

Today was easy-Sundays are family day, and we never drink on Sundays anyway.

I feel good-we moved the weight bench in the house, so we got a nice WARM workout in, and I have a pretty positive attitude about this week. Strange-I'm actually looking forward to sober week!

Sober week, day 1

Epic fail!!!

Well, epic is too strong of a word. But I did fail. My plan was to drink last night, then not again until next Friday. But there is something about decorating a Christmas tree that just calls for peppermint schnapps and hot chocolate. Then we went Christmas shopping, which requires at least 2 beers.

I do realize that my brain is just making excuses (Wal-Mart sober? No WAY!) and to be honest, I didn't really try very hard today. But on the other hand, it is Saturday. So I'm not beating myself up too much. The true test will be getting through the work week sober.

I can do this. I just need to remember that alcohol is NOT the most important thing.

Friday Funny

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

So, drinking.

I had sort of a......mini-snap the other night. Well, that's not exactly the right word. I don't know what to call it. But I do know this-I am so very lucky to have my husband by my side.

I am seriously sick of drinking. I'm sick of blurry weekends, I'm sick of spending the money, I'm sick of waking up on weekend mornings wondering what the hell I did the night before-"quick, check the internet! Did I embarrass myself?"

I don't think I made myself clear before, but I really put some effort into telling Hubbs how I felt. And how I feel is, if I don't get a grip on this I will check myself in to rehab. I just need to break this cycle.

Now, I have no desire or intention on quitting drinking. What I want is to drink like a normal person. Like special occasions, or when we have company. But this getting blasted just for the sake of getting blasted has got to stop.

I poured my heart out to Hubbs, and he said "I didn't realize you felt this strongly. I will fix it."

And you know what? I have the utmost faith that we will fix this together.

I may turn out to be one of those people who can never drink again, period. Or, I may turn out to be someone who can drink like a normal person. Time will tell I suppose.

Now, that being said, I am looking forward to both having a couple of beers Friday night with Hubbs, and then not drinking at all on Saturday. That will be a good start to a sober week.

Part of my freak out is the fact that last year over Christmas break, when we had like 10 days off, I spent the majority of it drunk. So not only did I gain 12 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years of last year, I felt like an ass. A terrible wife, a terrible mother, etc...

This year, with all that time off, I would like to do more family activities-we have some plans for building shelves and stuff, and we bought Pictionary Man-LOVE that game. But no way in hell do I want to go back down the 10 day crazy path.

So, here I go again....

Wow.

As much as I love Thanksgiving, I'm REALLY glad it's over. It was such a whirlwind of activity, I hardly took any pictures, and I feel like I didn't really get anything done over that entire 4 day weekend.

Dinner was delicious, I get better at making this meal every year. I even made homemade gravy for the first time, and it wasn't bad at all. The dishes the guys made were awesome as well-and it was really nice having a bit of help.

Now I feel like I need to focus on, basically, getting my shit together. I ate, drank, and smoked WAY more than I had planned to (self control? what self control?) and I am still suffering the effects of a massive carb overload. I know it's not good to try to quit too many things at once, but the drinking and smoking really need to get handled. I'm back to not drinking on week nights, which naturally cuts my smoking in half. I'll get that down for a week or two than it's time to get serious about cigarettes. I hate them-they smell, they're gross, and they are killing me. Plus they're expensive-smoking really doesn't make any sense.

Anyhow, my holiday was wonderful, as I hope it was for everyone. Time to get back on track.