I had a 9 hour class today on suicide intervention and I must say-it kicked my ass.
Suicide has been a very common theme in my life-I had a cousin who killed himself in my driveway when I was little, I lost my father to suicide, my mother attempted it in front of me, and of course I've had my own attempts. This class today brought up a lot of memories and feelings-it was incredibly draining. I told the instructor half way through that I was totally overwhelmed, and she said that's to be expected. Which made me feel better, knowing it's a common feeling-but for a minute there I was doubting my ability to put my own experiences aside to be able to help someone.
By the end of the class I realized that while I was still feeling overwhelmed, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I could see how my experiences would be able to help someone in need.
I have another 9 hour class tomorrow-let's see if I still feel the same way.