There are no jobs in this town. None. If I'm lucky, I maybe find 1 a week that I'm qualified for. And no luck so far. I've never not been offered a job I've interviewed for, so this has been a little damaging to my self esteem. I'm trying very hard to embrace my inner housewife, but jesus. I want to work!
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My daughter-in-law's mother died. She was an awesome woman. She was a mother to my son, and she worked hard at keeping her family together. She had a talk with my son, regarding some anger he had towards me, and she told him "You need to grow up. Maybe your mom does too, but you need to grow up. Family is the most important thing, and you have to let go of past hurts." I have her to thank for my son wanting to build our relationship again. She will be missed.
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Youngest is still grounded. Mr. thinks he can smoke. But he won a scholarship to a weekend camp a while back, so he'll be gone this weekend. Give Hubbs and I a chance to spend some time together. Much needed time, I might add.
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Several years back, when I wasn't working, I kind of started flipping out. It culminated one day when I destroyed my house and tried to stab myself in the arm. Crazy bitch. Anyway, I felt myself slipping back into that kind of crazy. But once I decided to embrace my inner housewife, those feelings lessened. Make the best of my situation I suppose.
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And on that note, have a wonderful holiday weekend!
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2 comments:
First off-
Sorry to hear how things have been going. I have no great words of wisdom, but I'm glad you're surviving and I'm here (phone/chat/email/whatever) whenever you need.
I wanted to address a particular part though:
"Several years back, when I wasn't working, I kind of started flipping out. It culminated one day when I destroyed my house and tried to stab myself in the arm. Crazy bitch. Anyway, I felt myself slipping back into that kind of crazy. But once I decided to embrace my inner housewife, those feelings lessened. Make the best of my situation I suppose. "
I very much relate to this. I think for people like us who suffer dissociative and depressive disorders, that work is the thing that keeps our mind busy from freaking the fuck out and being it's usual insane self. Once you remove the distraction, you kind of fall prey to your own self destructive nature.
I've been there, and I'm comforted to know that at least someone else I know has been there as well - in the heat of The Crazy, whether trying to stab yourself in the arm or beat yourself in the head senseless with a crystal statue - I know what that's like and in many ways, it was embracing my inner-housewife that kept me focused enough to not go off the deep end.
Love to you!
Deirdre
Thanks D, so much. It does help to know we are not alone! Much love to you.
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