I meet with my new therapist yesterday, and I left her office with a feeling that I've never felt before (regarding my crazies anyway).
There is hope for me. I won't always feel this way. Help is available and I can get better. I will learn how to be self aware, less afraid, and an active participant in my life.
She confirmed the PTSD, and gave me two tools to use in the immediate future to help me sleep. And by the way, I'm amazed that I was in therapy for 4 years and that woman never gave me anything but drugs. Seeing a psychologist makes a BIG difference.
I'm excited, I'm hopeful, and I'm scared-all at the same time. She said it's going to be a hard road, but I will reach my happy place.