Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Need.....pills.......

I've been trying to lay off the prescription/over the counter sleep aids. On the advice of my new awesome doctor, I have been practicing some behavior modification to learn to sleep without them.

1. The bed is for sex and sleep ONLY. If I am lying awake with my head running for more than 15 minutes, I have to get up, go in the other room, and read or watch TV until I think I can sleep. This breaks the cycle of associating bedtime with anxiety.

2. When my head does start running, I need to practice deep breathing, counting my breaths as I go. When an unpleasant thought intrudes, I'm to say "I am not thinking of you right now-you have no benefit when I'm trying to sleep." Then start counting again.

On the one hand, she is right-eventually I do fall asleep. But I feel like it is no where near enough sleep, not to mention the fact that I have bad dreams almost every night.

I am also having an issue with my older son right now, and that is the one thought I am unable to turn off. I finally fell asleep last night, only to wake up to use the bathroom and instantly start obsessing again. It's ridiculous. I am unable to let it go.

So, in the interest of my mental health, I will be asking Dr. the best way to handle this situation. Even if it means totally letting it go. I can't let myself be hurt on a daily basis, I just can't. I'm not that strong.

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow's session.

P.S. How strange is it that I've never been happier, yet I'm getting my heart broken on a daily basis? I have the support of Hubbs and Youngest-what a difference they have made in my life. I'm so thankful.

6 comments:

stevienatt said...

Hi Lula. Got hooked on your site from the Wirecutter himself. I had the same problem. My mind wouldn't shut off no matter what time of the day or night. Started seeing a Dr. about it and he prescribed me Seroquel which has worked wonders. Slows down all the B.S. that runs in circles and really helps me sleep. Even without beers. Ask your Dr. about it. Sounds like the same crap that I have.

Lula said...

Good old wirecutter-thanks for reading!

I'm really trying to work on my head without pills-practicing a few tricks the Doc taught me-it seems to be working so far, fingers crossed!

stevienatt said...

Well good luck. I hope you can find some peace. I know how bad it sucks to be unable to wind down. The medication has worked well for me in some areas but I still feel the urge to choke the shit out at least a dozen people daily.

Lula said...

I don't think the desire to choke the stupid out of people will ever go away!

Deirdre Bunny said...

I haven't had sex on a bed in years!

Lula said...

Ha!