I've been trying to lay off the prescription/over the counter sleep aids. On the advice of my new awesome doctor, I have been practicing some behavior modification to learn to sleep without them.
1. The bed is for sex and sleep ONLY. If I am lying awake with my head running for more than 15 minutes, I have to get up, go in the other room, and read or watch TV until I think I can sleep. This breaks the cycle of associating bedtime with anxiety.
2. When my head does start running, I need to practice deep breathing, counting my breaths as I go. When an unpleasant thought intrudes, I'm to say "I am not thinking of you right now-you have no benefit when I'm trying to sleep." Then start counting again.
On the one hand, she is right-eventually I do fall asleep. But I feel like it is no where near enough sleep, not to mention the fact that I have bad dreams almost every night.
I am also having an issue with my older son right now, and that is the one thought I am unable to turn off. I finally fell asleep last night, only to wake up to use the bathroom and instantly start obsessing again. It's ridiculous. I am unable to let it go.
So, in the interest of my mental health, I will be asking Dr. the best way to handle this situation. Even if it means totally letting it go. I can't let myself be hurt on a daily basis, I just can't. I'm not that strong.
I'm really looking forward to tomorrow's session.
P.S. How strange is it that I've never been happier, yet I'm getting my heart broken on a daily basis? I have the support of Hubbs and Youngest-what a difference they have made in my life. I'm so thankful.