Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Losing it

I am, I'm losing my fucking mind. Not sure why. I have absolutely no patience, no tolerance, for any conflict right now, none. All of a sudden it's like the 3 people in my house are all after different things-this ones pushing, that one's pulling, no one will bend. I'm not in the fucking mood, I'm really not. I'm a huge raw exposed nerve right now, not because of anyone in my house, it's actually the rest of my family causing me grief, among other things. But of course everyone at home is feeling the brunt of it.

I truly don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if they are, but it needs to stop. Today.


Last week's therapy session was incredibly helpful. I've been practicing mindfulness exercises-a big part of my anxiety and PTSD is feeling disconnected and letting my anxiety run me. I've been practicing keeping myself in the moment, being aware of whats happening to me RIGHT NOW-it's actually quite helpful-I went to Trader Joe's last Friday BY MYSELF. I don't think I've gone anywhere alone in 10 years.

Hopefully the next session will be about keeping my anger in check.


Deirdre Bunny said...

Very happy to hear that therapy is helping.

Super big hugs.

Lula said...

Thanks-hugs back!