For Miyonao

And-the cat's a star! He has his own website, you can see it here. Enjoy the videos!

Friday Funny

When I need to '"check out" of work for a few moments, I can usually find something on the internet to crack me up. Have you seen the Yearbook Yourself website? Upload a photo of yourself, and see how you would look in the styles of various years.

I chose my baby picture.

Here's Baby Lula in 1954-



And again in 1964-



The year I was actually born, 1968-



And more modern, 1990.



I actually had that hairstyle in the 90's!

It's my Friday-I took tomorrow off to continue the 40th birthday celebration.

Have a great weekend!

It's My Birthday!

40 Things

1. I made it!
2. There is such a thing as too thin. I know that now.
3. I miss my son.
4. I read (and believe) in tarot cards.
5. I hate scary movies.
6. It’s better to be overdressed than underdressed.
7. I wish I had a dog.
8. I own a home.
9. I’ve been arrested.
10. I’ve participated in a protest.
11. Parenting guilt never goes away. Do it right the first time.
12. I’ve finally learned to speak my mind.
13. I have 7 tattoos.
14. I believe Marilyn Monroe was murdered.
15. My grandmother died at 46, my sister at 45, and my mother at 69. I plan to beat them all.
16. After 6 years, I still get butterflies when I see my husband each night.
17. I feel better than I ever have.
18. I think Scientology should be stopped by whatever means necessary.
19. I don’t get to spend nearly enough time with my family.
20. I couldn’t carry a tune if my life depended on it.
21. I sing constantly.
22. I brush my teeth more than 5 times a day.
23. The strength I showed when my mother was dying still amazes me.
24. My father was a heroin addict.
25. I’ve learned to function when gripped by fear.
26. I’m trying. I really am.
27. For me, self-control is a choice. I don’t always choose correctly.
28. Whatever it is, say it before it is too late.
29. Whatever it is, do it before it is too late.
30. The trauma of my childhood no longer defines me.
31. People who don’t move their arms when they walk freak me out.
32. I miss my mother.
33. I am not the person I was 10 years ago. Thank you.
34. I have a weirdly high I.Q.
35. I have severe road rage.
36. When I was 12, I broke both my arms. At the same time.
37. I wish I had braces.
38. You will regret not flossing.
39. I’m afraid of the dark.
40. I wish I could make it up to you.

The First 5

I believe it has been said that what a child experiences the first five years of life sticks with them forever. Let’s take a look at what shaped a Lulabelle, shall we?

Hmmm, I wonder where I learned to self medicate myself?




Ahhh. That explains quite a bit now, doesn’t it?



What a happy little girl! So carefree!



Still happy a year later-looking a bit tired though.


And........



Can you see it? I swear when I look at pictures from my childhood I can see the moment when things changed. I wasn’t afraid of monsters-I had them living in my house. I saw them every day.

My eyes look progressively more haunted as the years progress, trust me. For some reason, that picture of 4 year old me on the monsters lap just cracks me up. Then it becomes not so funny.

I’m glad I’ve reached a point where I can make jokes at my own expense. I certainly can’t dwell on my childhood the rest of my life.

But, if I could change anything about myself, I would change that little girl’s eyes.

Weird!

Edit-I wrote this entry, and when I logged in to post I realized my post from yesterday was titled "Flying By". So apparently, all that stuff I wrote below? Bullshit. I probably had the dreams because I feel like life is flying by. Get it??

The last two nights I have had the same dream-well, the same event in both dreams.

I’m standing at some random location, when I suddenly throw my arms above my head and shoot in to the sky.

The first night I was scared, and I told myself “Too high!” So I allowed myself to drift back down before I enjoyed the fall.

Last night I shot up in to the air, and I enjoyed the feeling-very exhilarating-and the scenery. It was fun looking down on the earth from that perspective.

Today, Little Wing and I looked up the meaning-


If you are feeling fear when you are flying or that you feel that you are flying too high, then it suggests that you are afraid of challenges and of success.

If you are flying with ease and enjoying the scene and landscape below, then it suggests that you are on top of a situation. You have risen above something. It may also mean that you have gained a different perspective on things. Flying dreams and the ability to control your flight is representative of your own personal sense of power.

What could it mean? How has my perspective changed in the last 2 days?

It could be the way I’ve been feeling about turning 40-the number shocks me, but
1. I don’t feel 40 and
2. I am DAMN lucky to have made it this far.

Girls like me end up in prison, on the streets, swinging from a pole, or in one institution or another. I, on the other hand, have an excellent job, my own home, family and friends who love me-and I’m (basically) sane.

I actually feel pretty good where I’m at right now.

Forty schmorty!

Flying By

This year has flown by. So much so that things I wanted to do, had every intention of doing by a set date-not done. Not even close.

I turn 40 Wednesday. I started my list of “40 things” about 2 months ago, and every time I think of something to add I write it down. Then I told myself I would take a weekend before my birthday and 1-make sure I had 40 things and 2-make sure they were 40 things that really reflected me.

Guess how many I have? 14.

This is something I really wanted to do, so I will try to complete it. Technically I have until 12 Midnight, November 5.

Otherwise, I’ll have to add “I’m a huge procrastinator” to my list.