Wednesday, September 30, 2009


I hate it when I flip for really no apparent reason. Yesterday not only was I bitchy and mean, I ate every single thing that was put in front of me, good for me or not. Mostly not.

So now I'm left wondering what the hell just happened. I've been doing so well lately.

Here's what I think.

1. My little sneaking bits of carbs and sugar are messing with my moods. I swear, it seems like the more I binge, the more my moods go haywire. So, that's easily fixed. I really expected to gain like 3 pounds after yesterday-you know it's bad when you're too embarrassed to tell your husband what you ate. But I didn't, I actually dropped. I feel like I dodged a bullet with that one, so my resolve is much stronger today.

2. When interviewing for the Crisis Call Center, they asked if I had overcome my various "issues". Apparently the training is very intensive and brings up a lot of painful emotions. "Of course! My mental health is stellar! I'll be fine!" Which is for the most part true, but now I'm wondering if I'm doing a little "checking out", mentally preparing myself for the floodgates to open here in a week. That is actually one of the worse things I do-isolate, get wrapped up in myself, and totally lose the ability to communicate.

I guess time will tell with both issues. But I feel I have at least identified what could be wrong, (and being aware is the first step blah blah blah) because really those are the only two things that have changed.

Well, that and the fact that one of the diamonds fell out of my wedding ring yesterday. That REALLY pissed me off-especially since I will never buy (or receive) another diamond again. Makes fixing it a little difficult.

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