Wednesday, March 10, 2010

And that's when I realized why they call it "work"

Therapy is hard. Harder than I thought it was going to be.

Part of the problem is I let my weight spiral out of control, so this week I haven't been able to soothe myself with chocolate and various treats. (Have I mentioned I work for a candy manufacturer? Try working here and not weighing 900 pounds)

I was so bitchy, and irritable, and just generally fussy yesterday I really thought about giving up.

"I'm not that bad off-screw therapy and all it's stupid rules."

"Screw being healthy and strong, I want some god damn candy. And a sammich."

Then I remembered how I can't even go out in public by myself, and how I'm plagued by fears and insecurities, and stayed on track.

The road to sanity is freaking hard, it really is. Not only have I given up all my crutches (beer, cigarettes, candy, emotional eating, sleeping at will, and Xanax)but some of my problems are getting worse before they get better(nightmares).

Anyway, I know it's all for the greater good, but god damn. Sometimes a girl just needs a beer and a cigarette.


Deirdre Bunny said...

Sister, sometimes I think we're the same person.

Lula said...