It's funny how childhood events haunt us in our adult lives. Even after the forgiveness and acceptance, things still come up and bite you in the ass.
We moved to Reno when I was 8 years old. We hadn't been there very long when my birthday came around. I was the new kid, and didn't have very many friends. My mother decided a birthday party would be a great way to make friends, so we sent out about 20 invitations.
No one came. Not one child showed up to my party.
To this day, whenever there is any sort of event, I am convinced no one is going to show. I had a birthday party a few years ago, and tons of people showed, but that didn't change my anxiety when I had a housewarming party. Again, a ton of people showed.
Hubbs has his going away party tonight, and I kept thinking "What if no one shows?"
17 people have already accepted, plus one guy even showed up last night (apparently he can't read).
Anxiety, thy name is childhood trauma.