Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Randomness

I was one pound from my goal weight of 136 when we decided to have friends over for dinner. Food + Beer + Sodium = a 3.5 pound weight gain. In one day. A false gain, I've already dropped 2 back off, but still. It freaked me out a little. I'm hoping to hit 136 by Friday, since I'm taking Little Wing out for sushi for her birthday, then barbecuing at her house the next day. That's a weekend full of sodium and alcohol right there. We shall see.

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Youngest just called me to let me know he was out of school, and when I answered the phone he blurted out "MEAT!". That's my boy.

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The market hasn't called me yet to tell me my MEAT PACKAGE is ready. We need to buy a freezer, even though we have 2 refrigerators, because I hoard food and they are both full. And by the way, for a food hoarder like me to win 100 pounds of meat is like a DREAM COME TRUE.

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Here's how goddamn crazy I am. I skipped several meals last week in the interest of dropping a few pounds. I didn't have a huge calorie deficit because I ate quite a bit during the day-I just basically followed the old tale "Don't eat after blah blah o'clock" Then I started tripping myself out because the following days at work, I kept my calories VERY low. Then I skipped a few meals at home over the weekend, and something clicked in my brain-"Ahh, yes. What a feeling of power and control to skip meals. I can do this. I can hit 136-hell, I can hit 135. How about 130? Ooh yes, 130 it is."

Then I remembered what it was like to be hospitalized and threatened with feeding tubes. So I'm over it. And now, I feel like "Wow, that was a close call. I better eat and eat in case I decide to starve myself again."

Dumbass.

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And finally, I really believe that if you just keep on trying, keep plodding along, good things will happen. So hang in there. It will come around.

8 comments:

Red said...

meat

It's whats for dinner.


I was going to be a vegetarian and it lasted for about four hours.

I would love to weigh 136. that would be so awesome. Keep doing it the healthy way. that is smart.

Lula said...

Thanks Red. I've always had some serious food issues, so eliminating any one thing (meat, carbs, etc..)isn't something I've ever been able to do either.

Though I did eat nothing but french toast for 6 months once....

Deirdre Bunny said...

French toast for 6 months? I admire your tenacity.

I had the hardest time giving up meat but was able to eventually. The carbs though... not so much.

BREAD! *sigh*

Lula said...

God I know....I would eat bread constantly if I could get away with it!

Deirdre Bunny said...

Lets just do it. Lets just run away and live on bread, beer and cigarettes. We'll just do aerobics 87 times a day to compensate.

Lula said...

If we truly "run" away, that's enough cardio in itself, don't you think?

Damn, I need bread.

Miyonao said...

I've always had food issue too. I love food. But it seems that when I have mental problems, pressure, worries, I would eat a lot more. When I live happily, I can live without so much food.

Anyways, weight loss is a long-time effort. Even after we lose weight, we still have to watch out. Good luck! You're doing good.

Lula said...

Thanks Miyonao!