Randomness

I was one pound from my goal weight of 136 when we decided to have friends over for dinner. Food + Beer + Sodium = a 3.5 pound weight gain. In one day. A false gain, I've already dropped 2 back off, but still. It freaked me out a little. I'm hoping to hit 136 by Friday, since I'm taking Little Wing out for sushi for her birthday, then barbecuing at her house the next day. That's a weekend full of sodium and alcohol right there. We shall see.

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Youngest just called me to let me know he was out of school, and when I answered the phone he blurted out "MEAT!". That's my boy.

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The market hasn't called me yet to tell me my MEAT PACKAGE is ready. We need to buy a freezer, even though we have 2 refrigerators, because I hoard food and they are both full. And by the way, for a food hoarder like me to win 100 pounds of meat is like a DREAM COME TRUE.

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Here's how goddamn crazy I am. I skipped several meals last week in the interest of dropping a few pounds. I didn't have a huge calorie deficit because I ate quite a bit during the day-I just basically followed the old tale "Don't eat after blah blah o'clock" Then I started tripping myself out because the following days at work, I kept my calories VERY low. Then I skipped a few meals at home over the weekend, and something clicked in my brain-"Ahh, yes. What a feeling of power and control to skip meals. I can do this. I can hit 136-hell, I can hit 135. How about 130? Ooh yes, 130 it is."

Then I remembered what it was like to be hospitalized and threatened with feeding tubes. So I'm over it. And now, I feel like "Wow, that was a close call. I better eat and eat in case I decide to starve myself again."

Dumbass.

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And finally, I really believe that if you just keep on trying, keep plodding along, good things will happen. So hang in there. It will come around.