This has been weighing heavily on Hubbs and I for a while-I'll try to not be too long winded, and I'd love your opinion if you'd care to share.
We are friends with a couple, let's call them Jack and Jill. We were best friends, spent every weekend together, helped each other move, and Jill really helped me when my mother died.
They moved to California, which made me cry my eyes out, then came back about a year later. During that time, Jill had an emotional affair with her boss, which technically I shouldn't know about, because Jack shared it with Hubbs and swore him to secrecy.
Anyway, when they came back and we started spending time together again, we noticed several things that just didn't sit right with us. For example, they have this weird dynamic in their relationship where they say things to each other like "Well, if you weren't such a fucking idiot XYZ never would have happened." I can't even imagine speaking to my husband like that. And if he said that to me? Let's just say it wouldn't end well.
Now it's none of my business how married people treat each other, but I can't help but look at them differently now.
Then I realized that every time we spent time with them, Jill made some comment that made me feel bad about myself. For example, when I was 20 pounds heavier and I complimented her on a new bathing suit, she said "Yeah, too bad it doesn't come in a large."
We ended up having a huge argument over Hubbs' unwillingness to loan Jack a tool (Jack does not have a good track record-you loan him something and you get it back broken, 3 weeks later). We pay good money for our things, and we care about them. Why would we loan something to someone who breaks stuff? Jack was completely bent out of shape, said mean things to Hubbs, which led to me calling Jack back and flipping my noodle. I believe one of the things I said was "No one is allowed to make my husband feel bad but me! How dare you! Don't you EVER talk to him that way again!" I know I'm slightly crazy, but do you get my point?
So now, we are somewhat on speaking terms again-we visited them the other night, and they called last night and wanted to get together. We just don't have it in us to get too close to them again. They are not bad people, not at all, there just seems to be so much drama surrounding it all. And we're kind of feeling like bad people for not taking the friendship back to the level it was before.
Am I a bitch, or am I right to distance myself from them?