If This Doesn't Make Your Black Heart Melt.....

Ignore the cheesy music....

My Baby

The guys are still all wrapped up in their gun makeovers (notice how I put a feminine spin on that?)so family movie night has not yet started. So I thought I'd share a Lulabelle gun story.

When Hubbs and I first started dating, we had a dinner date at some restaurant or another. I wore a skirt and heels, Hubbs wore slacks and a tie. We decided that before dinner, we would hit our local indoor shooting range. He had never seen me shoot before, though I had told him stories of what a good shot I was.

We showed up at the range, picked up a few targets, and proceeded to the shooting area. (Forgive my terminology-just because I can use a gun doesn't mean I know what half this shit is called)

I chose the paper target that was an outline of a man, with all the vital organs detailed-pancreas, heart, stomach, etc...

I said "Watch-I'll shoot him right in the pancreas"-score!

"Watch this-right in the throat"-score!

I hit at least 80% of the body parts I was aiming at that night. In a skirt. And heels.

Here's a picture of my baby-a .45 caliber Ruger Blackhawk.



P.S. Notice the orientation? It's landscape on my computer, yet shows up portrait. If anyone out there knows how to upload pictures so they show up in the correct orientation, please let me know. I have no idea why they turn when I upload them.

Mom

I remember right after Hubbs and I got married, my mom would call me and ask for help with the most random things. Could I come over and defrag her computer? Could we please come over and change the water bottle on the dispenser? Could I bring Youngest over to clean the fish tank?

It used to drive me insane-not because I didn't like spending time with my mother, but I really felt she was doing these things just to drive me insane. I would think "My GOD, how many times do I have to show you how to defrag your computer?" This was, of course, before we knew the cancer had spread to her brain.

Isn't it funny how I would now give anything to have my mother back, driving me crazy?

Random Thoughts-Must Empty Head

Remember the scene in the movie "Bruce Almighty" (if you haven't seen it, Bruce gets God's powers for a specified period of time)when he starts hearing everyone's prayers? And it's like this constant chatter that gets louder and louder? That's what it's like to be me. I woke up at 3am, and could NOT get back to sleep. The voices in my head would not SHUT UP. I took half a Xanax, then a while later another half, and just when I was thinking I was going to get up, I feel asleep at about 5:30am. Not conducive to tonight's plan of family movie night and staying up until midnight. I told Youngest he may have to wake me up to ring in the new year.

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The guys just took off for the sporting goods store to get blueing (bluing?) for their guns. They both have world war 2 era rifles they have been working on-I'll post pictures when they finish. Does it make me a redneck that I let them break down and sand their guns at my kitchen table? I'm asking you wirecutter!

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My cat Cleo is about 4 years old. She has not grown a speck since we adopted her from the shelter-just a little teeny thing. I believe she was taken away from her mother too soon-she is THE neediest cat I have ever seen in my life. If you walk into a room and shut the door, she will cry until you let her in. If you sit down, she is instantly in your lap. My tail bone still hurts from the sledding incident, so I haven't been able to sit comfortable for a while. I moved her from my lap the other day, and this is the look she gave me-



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My nephew is home from the marine base for the holidays-he goes back Monday. So he's coming over for dinner Friday night, and to watch movies. Then they ship him off for wherever. If you're so inclined, say a prayer that he returns home safely.

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Have you seen that commercial about not smoking, it's my time to quit? And the woman who says "At 6:30am I have my first cigarette". Next time you see it, notice the horizontal wrinkle she has above her lip. I have the same thing. It never crossed my mind that it was from smoking! That's only strengthened my resolve to quit. I don't care about cancer, but start messing with my face? Hell no! I'm just kidding, I am quitting for all the obvious health reasons. So this weight I gained better hurry up and get off so I can work on not smoking! (I have lost 2 pounds since Monday-go me!)

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I'm looking forward to a better year. No surgery (hopefully), not smoking, and keeping up this great vibe I have going with my family. We've been spending more time together, quality time, and it makes me very happy. It also helps me to feel less insane.

Have a wonderful, safe New Year's eve!

My Hero

Ellie Nesler, who sparked a national debate about vigilantism after killing her son's accused molester in a courtroom in 1993, has died of cancer. She was 56.

It's sad the way she and her son descended into a pit of drugs of violence-but she's still my hero. I would have done the exact same thing.

More here.

Rest in peace Ellie. You did the right thing.

Book Review

The Garden of Last Days by Andre Dubus III

This book deals with very disturbing subject matter-a missing child, the terrorist attacks on 9/11, and a slightly cliche "stripper with a heart of gold". But, it is very well written by an excellent author-he also wrote House of Sand and Fog, which was turned in to a movie and was excellent as well. I read this book straight through in less than 24 hours, and I highly recommend it. A very compelling read.

Sweet!

Today is my one day at work this week before I take the rest of my vacation time, and I just found out we're only doing a half day. Awesome!!

That made my day much better, because it did not start out right. As I've mentioned a thousand times, I gained back 10 of the 20 pounds I lost this year. Well, as of today, my grand total of weight gain is 11.5 pounds.

It's time to get serious again. Just because I have all this time off does not mean I can eat and drink whatever the hell I want.

This time next week I expect to lose at least 5 pounds. I'll keep you updated-it will help keep me accountable.

If I don't stick to it this time I'm sewing my lips shut.

Sigh

This writing thing is so much harder then I thought. It was one thing to sit down and pour out my heart and get the original story on paper-but going back and proof reading it is killing me. I'm totally in the midst of a post traumatic stress disorder attack right now. My hands are shaking and I'm just appalled at the things that went on in my house, the things no child should EVER have to endure. This could end up being a very long process. I don't know if I should just do it all now and get it over with or take it slow. I do believe our minds and bodies tell us when we have had enough, so I guess that's my clue to stop for now.

I want to be strong enough to share my story,I want it out of my head, and it would be great if it helped just one child to know "Look, this is what went on, but I'm ok now. I'm living a happy, productive life and you can too."

I need a beer.

P.S. And I hate that, I hate that my first response to discomfort is alcohol. And I hate that revisiting these events turns on that stupid little voice in my head-"You're not good enough, you're not smart enough, why are you even trying, no one cares, blah blah blah." Today is a nice family day, I need to get over myself. What do normal people do with feelings like these? Pills? Church? What is it? I really don't get it.

I swear, leave me alone for 5 minutes and I'll ruin my own damn day.

And This Is Why I STILL Hoard Food

Click here to see why I am the way I am, in more ways then one......

I remember filling out a form each month to order food from the supply closet...obviously we were on the poor end of the scale...

The Day After

As I posted previously, we got HELLACIOUS snow on Christmas.





So, we went sledding!!



Determining the best path....



Downhill!!







It sucks, having to walk back up....





Is this beautiful or what?





Critter prints, because it's cool-



And then my batteries died, and I had no spares. So unfortunately, there are no pictures of when I got brave enough to finally try. Or any photographic evidence of when Youngest and I went at the same time, and we hit a damn sagebrush so hard my tail bone still hurts.

Is there anything better then spending time with your family and acting goofy?

It's A Christmas Miracle!!

Youngest wanted snow.....





He got snow!!

Bah hum....oops, I mean.....

Merry Christmas!!

I'm Pretty Sure This Is How My Family Feels When I Sing

more animals

Because I Don't Know When To Shut Up

After my last post, I thought about it for a minute then said to Hubbs-

Me: Wait a minute-when I asked if you were happy you asked me to define happy! That's a stalling tactic, like when someone says "Where were you last night" and you repeat the question back to them. You were happier before!!!

Hubbs: No, that's my engineering mind questioning everything, just like I always do. You know that.

Me: Oh. You're right.

Just call me Luladumbbelle.

Movie Moment

After discussing exes, past lives, etc...

Me: Are you happier now then you were before?

Hubbs: Define happy.

Me: A feeling of joy, or elation.

Hubbs: Yes, I am. And I'll tell you-I'm a better man, and more of a man, then I've ever been.

Book Review

The Story of a Marriage by Andrew Sean Greer.

Have you ever started reading a book, and decided about halfway through you didn't want to read it anymore, but you finished it because you wanted to know how it turns out? That's what happened with me and this book. I'm not sure why, it was well written, but I had to make myself finish it. I think this happens when I read too many books at one time-I want to finish one of the other ones so I rush through whichever one ends up in my hand.

An interesting story though-how well do you REALLY know the person you're married to?
I did have some trouble relating to the wife-I would have booted the husband, but then again I'm a modern woman, not a women limited by the values and morals of the 40's and 50's.

Up And Down

Last night after we got home from Youngest's guitar lessons, I was sitting at the table and I realized I have never been happier in my life.

This morning, driving to work on the icy streets and feeling slightly sick to my stomach, all I could think was "Poor me. Poor me, feeling sick and having to drive the scary icy streets."

Is it too much to ask to have the same basic mood for a 24 hour period? I irritate myself.

Do NOT Piss Us Off

see more pwn and owned pictures

Back Among The Living

Barely, but here I am.

We went to Hubbs Christmas Party Saturday night, and we looked smoking hot if I do say so myself. I was still a little sick, but beer helped that feeling. It was a little uncomfortable because we didn't really know anybody, then we ended up at a table with the owner and his wife. Nice people, but we were very nervous. We had a nice dinner, gambled for a minute (my $20.00 a year habit)then left.

We decided to stop by our old favorite dive bar on the way home, still dressed to the nines. We ended up staying out until 3:00 am! So not like us, I'm usually in bed by 11pm, even on weekends. Had a few million beers, a couple shots of some nonsense, then dragged our butts home.

Needless to say I felt like death warmed over yesterday, but it was family movie day so nothing much was required of me.

Today and tomorrow are half days for me at work, then I'm off until the 29th. I'm very much looking forward to spending some time at home with the family. My bro and his family are coming over for dinner and gift exchange on Wednesday, and I think I'm going to have Little Wing and her family over for lunch this week. "Aunt" C (My mom's best friend) is coming over for dinner tomorrow with her boyfriend, and Youngest is going to play "Pretty Woman" for them on his guitar.

The only thing that could make this week better is if Oldest lived close enough to visit. Other than that,I'm pretty happy with the way things are.

What are your holiday plans?

WTF?

Sick

I'm very, very sick. Tomorrow is Hubbs company Christmas party.

This does not look good.

Friday Funny

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Random Thought

If I ruled the world, I would make it legal (and socially acceptable) to slap people in the back of the head when they do something stupid, or are just plain annoying. Not hard enough to hurt them, but just hard enough so they realize they are annoying and stupid and should stop talking. I think, if you're willing to possibly get hit back, which may or may not lead to boxing, you should be able to smack whoever the hell you want. And I say this knowing full well that I would probably get smacked myself at least once a week.

This isn't a true random thought, I have a reason for thinking this way. I am sick, very sick, body aches-stuffy nose-headache-buzzing head-scratchy throat-sick. Which means that everything is twice as annoying as usual.

And this may be selfish, but I'm glad I'm sick now, at work, instead of during my holiday vacation.

Brrrrrrrrrr................

When I woke up this morning, it was 8 degrees. Yes, you read that right. 8 DEGREES!!!!

The only good thing about this damn weather is it makes me more willing to work out. I have to do something to get my blood flowing so my frickin toes don't fall off.

The bad, bad, VERY BAD thing about this weather is I hate driving in it. I'm from Southern California (beautiful, warm Southern California-oh how I miss thee)and I just can't get comfortable driving in this nonsense. Even with 4 wheel drive, by the time I get to work my hands are shaking, my heart is pounding, and I'm ready to cry.

But, I am better at driving in the snow and ice then I was 7 years ago, so maybe in 7 more years it will be second nature.

Until then, please send me safe driving thoughts.

Help!!!!!!!!!!

It is snowing like a MOTHER! Look how much it has changed since my last pic....



This does not look good.

Come To The Darkside......

We have cookies!!!

Snickerdoodles



Russian Tea Cakes



And my favorite, Rum Balls!!!



Can you tell by the last pic I was starting to get tired? I baked for 10 hours on Saturday! And I have no idea why that pic is turned sideways.

Outside My Window

Yuck.

Moody

Having a mood disorder was once described to me this way-

A normal person will get up in the morning, maybe 10 minutes late. "Damn it-I better hurry."

They put on their coat on the way out the door, and find $10.00 in the pocket. "Nice!"

On the way to work, they get stuck at a railroad crossing. "Shit, now I'm going to be even later."

They make it to work, and the day goes on.

A Bi-polar person sees the same events this way-

"HOLY CRAP I'M LATE!!!!!!! The whole day is RUINED!! I should just go back to bed, SCREW IT! MY LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!"

Upon finding $10.00 in their pocket-"AWESOME!! Oh my god, this is the best day EVER!!!!!!"

And getting stuck behind a train "Why does the world hate me??? Stupid frickin train, stupid frickin job, I wish I had NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!!!!"

And the rest of the day is spent grouchy, moody, angry, etc.....

See the difference?

I feel just like that today.

"It's cookie day! Awesome, I can't WAIT to make cookies all day! Today ROCKS!"

Then, after discovering that the hot rollers I borrowed to do my own party hair for Hubbs' Christmas party next Saturday will not work for me-

"Everything SUCKS! I hate my hair, I'm a huge cow, why do I even bother TRYING!!!!! POOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Fuck it, I hate EVERYTHING."

I swear it's ridiculous how easily I can let myself ruin my own day.

My advice to myself? Get OVER IT.

Ha!

moar funny pictures

Cookie Day!

Tomorrow is cookie day. I love holiday baking-this year I’m making Rum Balls, Snickerdoodles, and Russian Tea Cakes. Yum…..Not very diet friendly, but if I work out for 9 hours I should be ok…...

I also have to take Youngest shopping for his Grandma, then ship a few packages next week and I am officially done.

I'm feeling pretty good about Christmas this year, which is a nice change. I'm usually depressed. Last year was my first Christmas without my mother, so now that all those "firsts" are out of the way my holiday should go much smoother. Not that I won't still miss her, but it isn't as traumatic as it was last year.

I think part of the reason I'm feeling better this year is we've been donating whenever we can. We bought a bag of food for a local family at the grocery store, we've donated to Toys for Tots, and Little Wing and I dropped off pet food at the Humane Society. We are also participating in a local pet food drive for homeless pets, and for the elderly that may not be able to afford pet food right now.

Wow-did all that just come from me? Am I turning-dare I say it-nice???

Don't let word get it. It will ruin my reputation.

Friday Funny

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Random Stuff

My final total weight gain from the holiday-10 pounds. Damn it! I'm back to my routine of working out morning and night, counting every single calorie that goes in to my mouth, and being grouchy because I'm hungry all the time.

I have 2 reasons for wanting to get back down to 136. The first is-I felt really, really good at 136. I felt light,attractive, and in shape. Reason 2-I plan on quitting smoking in January. And since they say that some people can gain up to 10 pounds when they quit, due to the change in their metabolism, I figured I better drop the 10 I gained back, otherwise I'm right back where I started.

I've lost 2.5 so far-go me! And by the way, the two things that helped me lose the original 20 pounds in the first place-hungrygirl.com and thedailyplate.com. Check them out.

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I was thinking about my blog, and about other people's blogs, and I thought "What the hell is my blog about?" Weight loss? Recovery? Humor? Mommy blog? Then I remembered the name. Duh.

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I know I've said this several times, but I'm trying to talk myself into it. So here I go again.

I have quite a few days off over the last 2 weeks of December, so I'm going to take some time to touch up the first two short stories I have written, and finish the third. It's very hard for me, because reading them (and writing them) makes me very emotional, and leaves me in a weird place. But, I need to try. I need to be brave. I had Little Wing read one story, and she helped with some things that need to be changed. I'd like to post one here and get everyone's opinion. Bear with me-I'm a big chicken.

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And finally, do stupid people make you stabby, or is it just me? I don't know if stupid is the right word-how about heavily medicated? Clueless? Foggy people? I know someone who is the nicest person in the world, yet every time they open their mouth I want to punch them in the face. Maybe I'm just hungry.....

Book Review

Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips

This book was quite entertaining. What if the Gods of Greek Mythology were alive, here on Earth?

They are, sharing a run down house in London, and behaving....like people, actually. And it takes one mousy, nerdy guy to save the Earth (and all of them) from total destruction.

A fun read and history lesson, rolled in to one.

Rock, Paper, Scissors

I don't remember where I found this on the good old interwebs, but it's hilarious.

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you, asshat."

WTF?

I don't know why I'm surprised-Cleo loves her carbs, just like her mother. Corn chips, potato chips, bread. Weird ass cats.

Come ON ’09!!!

I know I shouldn’t wish for time to hurry by-after all, this is the only life I have, why do I want to speed through it?

But, work is SO SLOW right now it’s making me crazy. It’s leaving me with way too much time on my hands and that is not good. A thinking Lulabelle = a crazy Lulabelle.

We are literally so slow that the phone only rings like 5 times a day, and the calls are never for me. We are always slow this time of year, but I tend to forget that until it happens.

Little Wing and I have been taking 2 hour lunches, and plan to continue this throughout the next week, but even with that the day seems to drag, and all my little demons start poking me with their fiery sticks of gloom and doom.

Ho-hum.

Book Review

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris.

A collection of essays about his life growing up, and his relationship with his siblings in adulthood. I laughed out loud quite a few times-you know how I love reading about dysfunctional families.

Highly recommended!

Speaking of Bears

Check out more at thingsbearslove.com

My Melancholy Baby

Well, he’s not really a baby, though he is my Youngest.

Christmas is no longer just about the gifts and cookies for him-Christmas has now turned in to that time of year when you miss all your distant and lost loved ones. The tears come very easily this time of year, and Youngest learned that on Saturday. He cried and cried like he hasn’t cried in years. He misses his brother, he misses my mother, and he misses his dad.

It was like watching him grow up a little right before my eyes, though I wish he didn’t have to experience that. In a perfect world my Oldest would be right down the street with his wife and children, my mother would still be 5 miles away, and my husband would be his biological father.

In a perfect world.

The Times They Are A'Changin

I woke up this morning, and I felt......happy. Not just not mad, but actually happy. I sat down with my cup of tea, and thought about the things I was going to do today, and I was actually feeling good.

I'm pretty sure this means the world is about to end.

Friday Funny 2

A bear walks in to a bar, pulls up a seat, and motions to the bartender.

“I’d like a beer please”

“I’m sorry, we don’t serve bears beer in this bar.”

“Come on man, it’s been a rough day, I really need a drink”

“I’m sorry sir, we do not serve bears beer in this bar.”

“Please-I’m supposed to be hibernating, I can’t find a decent cave, and I have insomnia. I NEED a beer.”

“Sir, I’m sorry about what you’re going through, but like I said, we do NOT serve bears beer in this bar.”

“Ok look, either you serve me a beer, or you see that lady over there? I’m going to go over there, rip off her head, suck out her brains, and eat her. Blood will fly, I’ll scare your customers, they will all leave screaming and you will lose business. Now are you going to give me a beer or what?”

“Like I said sir, we do NOT serve bears beer in this bar.”

The bear gets up, grabs the lady, rips off her head, and proceeds to eat her. Blood is everywhere, people are screaming, its chaos!

The bear sits back down and says-

“NOW will you serve me a beer?”

“Like I said, we do not serve bears beer in this bar, especially bears on drugs.”

“Drugs? I’m not on drugs!”

“Oh yeah? What about that bar-bitch-you-ate?”

My favorite joke.

HA-HA!

Former football star O.J. Simpson has been sentenced to 15 years in prison for a botched attempt to recover sports mementos and personal items from two collectibles peddlers.

He will be eligible for parole in six years.

Best Friday Funny EVER!

Random Quotes From Oldest

I was going through my old emails looking for something, when I ran across these gems-

"mom, you're a bastard, you passed on your overthinker gene to me. Sometimes I wish I had my mothers eyes and my fathers carelessness"

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Me, to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: "All of the other soups….used to laugh and call soup names……they never let poor soup……join in Lula’s tummy games

I'm having soup"

Oldest: "Then one overcast winter day, Lula came to say, soupy with your nu-tri-tion, wont you join my feed the belly mission. now Lula aint grumpy, because her belly's full, and everyone knows that soupy, is good when it's hot not cool."

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"TeleShanking can be achieved by pressing the imaginary button on your phone that would drive a 6" steel spike through the ear of the person on the other end."

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Oldest, regarding my Scientology theories: "I love that you are crazy."

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"I do believe in the next month I will be maintaining my own flock of egg laying hens. YAY!"

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"Chuck Norris, skin ever so porous
Master of the fist so glorious
Everlasting beard of beauty
When called to arms The Chuck performs his duty

Thank you Chuck "

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Friday Funny

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Book Review

UPDATE: So my husband said, "Why didn't you look up the term for webbed toes?".....it's called Syndactyl, so Dean Koontz did NOT do his research. Is that weird or is it just me?


Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz

I used to be a HUGE fan of Dean Koontz, then it started to feel like all his books were the same, so I stopped reading. But, I was out of books this weekend, so in my random searching around my house I found and decided to read this one.

It was pretty good, a little far fetched even for a fantasy/horror whatever kind of book, but it wasn't bad. One thing though-and I discovered this by accident, which is what reminded me to review this book-see how my mind works?

I was just on a website that mentioned polydactyl cats. "Oh,cats that have their toes fused together?" Because in this book, that's how he uses the term-a baby is born with polydactyl toes, meaning fused together or webbed.

Polydactyl actually means having an extra toe, like Hemingway's cats. (Speaking of cats with extra toes, they all hate me. I don't know why, but every cat I have ever come across that has extra toes always wants to bite my face off)

If I'm wrong, and you can cite your source, please do. I'd hate to think that Mr. Koontz couldn't even be bothered to do the proper research on his own book.

So I Said To Myself, "Self!"

I gave myself a little pep talk/lecture this morning. I seem to be drowning in the negative a bit and I'm sick of it.

I have mentioned that I've gained about 6 pounds (after losing 20) and I'm having trouble dropping it. But am I really having trouble losing it? No, I'm having trouble TRYING to lose it. I've been eating whatever I want whenever I want (except those chips I REALLY wanted yesterday), I've been blowing off my workouts, and then of course there is the beer.

So this morning when I weighed myself I had that little voice in my head saying "You COW! You are such a loser! Look how flabby you are! Why even bother trying? Oh yeah, you look old too!"

I swear that shit has got to STOP. Look how I treat myself over six measly pounds. It's ridiculous. My clothes still fit, and I'm healthy. What's the big deal? It's 6 pounds!

Anyhorribleinnervoice, I sat down with my tea, and said "Look self, this has got to stop. If you want to lose the weight, you have to try. If you want to cut out the drinking, just do it. This is the only life you get-do you really want to spend it beating yourself up over every little thing? Make the changes that need to be made and be HAPPY!"

I know I'll have to keep reminding myself, keep giving myself pep talks until I'm over my hump. I've really had enough of the negative in my head. Life's too short.

Random Thoughts

When I was in kindergarten, we were asked to draw a picture of our fathers. Family legend says my dad was part Indian (feather not dot)-I don't know if that's true or not, but I do know he had very dark skin compared to the rest of his brothers and sisters (different mothers, or so the story goes).

Anyway, I couldn't find or didn't have a brown crayon, so I used a black one. It made perfect sense to my little 5 year old mind. Everyone laughed at me, including the teacher. I remember coming home crying, and trying to hide the picture. My dad found it and said it was the best picture of himself he had ever seen.

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Beer is weird. I have noticed, in my 3 whole days of sobriety, that I have way more trouble getting up in the morning then I ever did when I was hungover. I'm sleeping so good, I don't want to get out of bed. I have more trouble falling asleep, but I have been sleeping like a ROCK.

Book Review

Duma Key by Stephen King

I haven't read a scary book in a while-I wouldn't have read this one if the library wasn't closed last Friday-but it was actually pretty good. The story of a man who lost his arm in a horrific accident, but gained a mysterious power.........(cue scary music)

I didn't think it was too scary, but I did have nightmares the last two nights. Then again, that's pretty normal for me, so whatever. It was a good read.

Pirate Cat

Aarrghh, matey. If that light flashes in my eyes one more time I'll be swabbing the deck with yer skull, I will.

Here We Go Again

Blah blah beer blah blah acid reflux blah blah blah

I swear, you'd think I'd learn.

I went off of Nexium because our new insurance won't cover it and it is HIGHLY expensive. I was doing ok, until about 2 weeks ago. I had veggie chili at lunch and it was all down hill from there. Prilosec is supposed to be very similar to Nexium, so I took about 3 doses then blew it off. Then came Thanksgiving-friends, family, no work, concerts, lots of beer, and of course those delightful jalapeno treats.

I am paying for it now. Big time. I'm suffering the same symptoms that originally led me to urgent care. I'm taking Prilosec every day, and I haven't had a drink since Saturday.

Not working yet. I blame the beer. I blame the beer for a lot of things, including, but not limited to-my 6 pound weight gain, my acid reflux, and money that seems to have just disappeared.

My goal, AGAIN, is to not drink, not even 1, until Friday. I would like to be a normal person, a person who has a few beers on a Friday night to celebrate the end of the week. Not this person I have become (have been?), who has a beer in her hand at all times. It's getting old. I'm sick of fighting the acid reflux, I'm sick of fighting the weight gain, and I'm sick of feeling like shit when I wake up in the morning.

I can do this.

Monday Funny

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Book Review

A Crooked Path by Annette Smith.

I actually really enjoyed this book. It's the story of a mexican immigrant who starts out a day laborer, ends up with his green card, falls in love, etc...

I didn't think I would like it at first, but I actually enjoyed reading about the trials and tribulations the immigrants go through to become citizens, and the way they are treated by Americans. It opened my eyes a little bit.

By the way, some of you may have noticed that books will appear on my list as reading, then suddenly disappear with no review. I decided if I can't say something nice, not to say anything at all, soo........

Uh-Oh

I just received this award from mile191, and with it I'm supposed to post 10 honest things about myself.

Here goes.

1. I'm obsessed with my appearance. I can't take a compliment, and I constantly find something about myself to pick on. I wish I could stop.

2. I hate to drive. I hate that I can't teleport from point A to point B. Driving seems like such a waste of time. Besides, all the idiots on the road scare the hell out of me.

3. I wish I was a different sort of mother. Both now and then.

4. I'm obsessed with shoes. I'm pretty sure it stems from growing up-we were poor, and I only had one pair at a time. Now I have about 50, and I don't even wear half of them. Granted, it is winter and most of them are high heels, but still. I maybe wore 10 pairs this year.

5. As much as I hate to admit it, I am still very much controlled by the events of my childhood. From my uber sensitive startle reflex to the fact that I'm afraid of the dark, there are parts of me that can't be fixed. But that's ok-I have learned to work around them.

6. I'm afraid to tell my story. I do not want to see pity in anyone's eyes, ever. I don't want to be "that girl". But I think I will try anyway.

7. I'm way, way too quick to judge others. And I find it hard to let go of my first impressions. Bad combo.

8. The world is very black and white to me. People are either good or bad. I either like people or detest them. I either eat like a horse or starve myself. There is no middle ground with me.

9. I am WAY too dependent on chemicals to get to sleep at night. I'm trying to change.

10. I drink WAY too much. I'm trying to change that as well.

And with that, I tag the following people. No pressure-I won't be insulted if you choose not to play.

Wirecutter

Miyonao

Dan

Right click the award, save to your computer, then add to your post like a photo.