I don't know how long I'm supposed to feel this way before I get outside help. It's been 3 weeks, this actually started before my cat died. But somethings got to give before I break.
Hubbs says we have dealt with worse, that I've had spells that have gone on much longer, but I really don't remember ever feeling quite this bleak inside.
Everything is a fight. I have to make myself-force myself!-to go through the motions in the hopes I will start to feel better. But deep inside, I could care less. About any of it. I feel like I'm stuck in quicksand, and as fast as I fight to pull myself out is as fast as I get sucked back in.
But what outside help do I think I can get? Pills don't work with me, I've tried nearly every one of them. Therapy? I don't care enough to discuss my feelings right now, unfortunately. Besides the fact that my insurance sucks and I probably couldn't afford it if I did care.
Sleep for a few days, and maybe, just maybe, wake up all better? Now that I may try.