Monday, June 1, 2009


I have failed miserably at quitting smoking. I did so well those first 6 days, then I don't know what happened. I lost my resolve. I lost my mojo. I was so totally into it, and excited about becoming a non smoker. Now I don't seem to care. Well, I care, but obviously not enough to put forth any effort. I had a cigarette this morning and I thought to myself "You're not even going to try? Use the things you've learned? Chew a piece of gum?" And I thought, "Nope."

Tomorrow is a new day, and I will try again. I really think smoking affects my acid reflux, and it's been killing me. It didn't seem to bother me as bad those glorious 6 days.

Here's to a new day!


Deirdre Bunny said...

I attempted to quit about 2 years ago when I met Maggie - she didn't smoke and hated it. I was also telling myself it was probably time and all - having been smoking since July 5th, 1990 (I remember the date because it was the day after the 4th).

Anyway, I had a pretty good run. It was about 3 months with only 2 separate days in there because of some really intense stuff that was happening.

But then things got even worse and I started falling apart. I kept telling myself that "this next one is the LAST one" but it wouldnt be.

it had occired to me about this time that I didnt evenr eally want to quit. I wanted Magz to be happy but I shouldnt have to quit doing something that helped keep me in the world's reality with a little more ease.

The while thing went to hell as summer started and looking back now, two years later - I don't regret it.

I'm still not ready to quit. I may one day - I figure I probably will, and its not that I think I'm immune to the dangers - I'm pretty certain it will be the death of me!

You have a better chance than I because you appear to be doing it because you want to stop. I think thats the only way it can work, to be honest. So I have faith in you!

And if you decide not to, don't kick yourself too hard. We do what we must to get through each day, ya know?

Why can't I just type a few lines? Geez.

Lula said...

Thanks Deirdre. I do really want to, I've just lost the drive to try. Does that make sense?

And feel free to type as many lines as you want-I appreciate it!

wirecutter said...

You sound like me as far as my drinking is concerned. I can go 1, maybe 2 days without a beer and feel great about it, really enjoying getting up without a hangover, then all of a sudden I'm drinking again and wondering what in the hell happened.

Lula said...

Exactly.....addiction is a tricky, tricky thing!