Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Poor pitiful Pearl

Last night when I was trying to sleep, my mind started playing the poor me game.

"Poor me! Why do I have to live with this acid reflux? Why me? Why do I have to give up all the things I love?"

Then I started thinking about my mother and my sister, and all that they went through the last years of their lives. Strokes, seizures, brain surgery, chemo, wheelchairs, etc....

And now I'm over it. I'll do the best I can to get it under control, and in the meantime, I should thank my lucky stars that I really do have my health. Acid reflux is not life threatening. Inconvenient as hell, yes. But manageable.


Deirdre Bunny said...

I do that to myself, often. I feel I was dealt one fucked up hand in life and that I've earned the right to scream at the sky when it's most unbearable...

But then I think of the Shitty life my grandmother had to live, and lived it nonetheless, until she passed away in '93. And when I think of all she had to endure and suffer, I kinda feel like an ass for whining about my stuff.

Honestly, though, I think we are allowed to shake our fist at our own personal circumstances from time to time without getting to down on ourselves. I think its good to purge. Kind of like climbing to the top of a heap of life's rubble, in defiance. I think that in those moments, clarity and strokes of genius shine through.

Big hugs.

Lula said...

Thanks Deirdre-hugs back at ya!

I need to check myself every now and again-I will wallow in self pity until it ruins my world. Then I realize, ok, complaining time is over. Get back on with your life.