I realize it's 9/11 and the majority of the country is busy with memorial services and all, but all this day does for me is make me miss my mother.
I had just moved here, living with Mom, and I was in the shower when she burst in, threw a towel at me and said "Get out here".
We spent the day together glued to the television, crying and worrying about where they would hit next. I like to remember this story because it's a story of her being well, aware and alive, so different from the last year of her life when she was partially paralyzed and losing the ability to speak.
So today, my personal memorial service will be things I remember about my mom.
She loved animals. I mean LOVED. She fed every stray cat in the neighborhood for years.
She had waist length, beautiful hair.
She collected earrings. When she died, she had over 300 pair.
When we were small, she was a terrible mother.
When I was an adult, she made up for it.
She was afraid of the dark.
She called me "her little girl", even when I was 6 inches taller than her.
She had terrible road rage.
She risked many things to help save me, including her marriage and her job.
She loved her computer games. Even though she could barely work the damn thing. I had to go over at least once a week to fix some crazy thing she did.
She had quite a taste for beer the last month of her life, after never liking it.
She was a terrible cook.
She made excellent fudge.
She loved Agatha Christie.
She always held me when I cried, no matter how old I was.
She loved me fiercely, the best way she knew how.
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10 comments:
In a day of memorials, this is one of the best I've read.
I'm sorry for your loss, but glad you seem to be healing well.
Thank you very much. And thanks for stopping by!
That's very touching!
My Mom is about to die. Your writing gave me a moment to pause. Thx
Thank you. And I'm sorry for what you're going through now.
Your writing brought me tears. Very touching. Made me think that I should treasure every minute I spend with my mother. She is not that old yet, but she is getting older. A few weeks ago, I said terrible terrible things to her that made her cry. I blamed all my failures to her. When she left to go back her hometown to take care of my grandma, I cried terribly on the way going to the train station with her. I felt guilty for what I had said to her and lonely without her. Now I feel like I have pushed away the only person who cares me the most. Now she is so disappointed with me.
Now I know how to treat her when next time we're together...
Miyonao, don't beat yourself up. We all make mistakes. If you feel you need to, apologize. It's better to say the things you need to now, before it's too late. The greatest gift I have ever received was being able to say the things I wanted to my mother before she died.
You're right, LulaBelle. I'll find a chance to apologize. But I guess the best way to make her happy is to make myself happy. I'll try to do that first. That's what she wants to see too.
You are exactly right. When I told my mother that I liked who I am today, she said that was the best thing anyone had ever said to her.
--When I told my mother that I liked who I am today, she said that was the best thing anyone had ever said to her.--
That must've made you the happiest one in the world too. I'm hoping to be able to say that to my mother soon. I probably won't say it, but she will be able to tell. My happiness or sadness, she's always the first one to notice.
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