Friday, September 12, 2008

Shallow? Or Insecure?

We went to parents night last night at Youngest's school. Usually when we go to school events, I'm paralyzed with anxiety. Surrounded by soccer moms with huge diamond rings, I feel my tattooed self just doesn't fit in. My clothes are wrong, my hair is wrong, and every one knows I suck.

Last night, after seeing all the other parents, I looked at Hubbs and said "I thought we lived in a better neighborhood."

One woman was dressed like a stripper. I shit you not. I saw more cleavage and ass last night than I think I have all year. And it wasn't pretty cleavage and ass. It was more....trailer park. (I can say that, I lived in a trailer)

So, my question to myself is this. Am I so shallow that my social anxiety is directly related to whether or not I think I'm better than everyone around me? And I don't mean better like I'm a better person. I'm sure stripper mom is very nice and volunteers at the food bank on the weekends. I mean better like-I know how to dress to go to school functions. Does that make sense? I don't think I'm better than anyone, I really don't. In fact, I'm quite sure the majority of parents there are much better parents than I was/am. But when I looked around and realized I was in the top 10% of the best dressed people there, I relaxed and felt better.

Wow. I am shallow. My social anxiety can be cured with the proper wardrobe. I wonder if I can get a prescription for that?


Miyonao said...

Seems like you found a way to cope with your anxieties at the event. Were you relaxed all through the event after you found out that you were better dressed than most people there? In my case, it doesn't matter how rationally I try to think about a social situation, I get nervous no matter what. The only lubrication for me is to get drunk.

LulaBelle said...

Oh Miyonao, me too. I drink way too often in anticipation of my nervousness. I was never really relaxed, but it was one less thing for me to worry about!