I feel slightly better today. I still feel like there is a cloud of gloom over my head, and everything around me-actually including me-seems fake and scripted. Does that make sense? I look around at everyone and it seems like the same old thing-the same lame jokes at the same time in the conversation, etc…. It’s like Groundhog Day.
I do not feel like hurting myself, but I do feel like staying in bed all day. The first words out of my mouth this morning were “Don’t wake me up-I’m not going.” Then I started reminding myself how lucky I was I had a job, and how I used to be excited when I had a ton of work to do because it made the day go by faster.
I tend to forget how crippling depression can be-I spend the majority of my time anxious or manic. I know there are some people who feel like this every day of their lives, and it requires daily medication just to be where I am today. So I’m lucky in that respect-I haven’t felt this bad in years, thank goodness.
I’m also lucky to have people around me that I can talk to about this, or not talk at all and it’s ok. Little Wing even brought me in an all natural anti-anxiety medication-and I swear it made me feel a bit better.
I’m hanging in there, I’m counting my blessings, and I’m taking it a moment at a time.
What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner. ~ Colette