How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
For more laughs, visit www.chucknorrisfacts.com