Scared!

I’ve wanted to write a book for quite a while. I don’t have the best writing skills, but I feel I have a story to tell. A story of survival, if you will. Not just survival, but actually overcoming the hand I was dealt at birth. When I look back on my life, I truly think it’s a miracle that I’m not institutionalized or dead. (And not for lack of trying!)

I thought that fear of failure had been holding me back. Then I realized I’m more afraid of succeeding than I am of failing. If I fail, I’m sure my fragile self esteem will be bruised for a while, but really it’s not the end of the world.

But if I succeed? Then people will know what sorts of things have happened to me, and what sorts of things I have done. I’ll have to go on a book tour, and do interviews and signings. Can you see me in a store with 100 people in line waiting to meet me? And what if they ask me a question about the abuses I’ve suffered? Am I willing to talk about that with strangers? In public? And if I refuse to do publicity tours, then what’s the point in writing it? I would like to get my story out, but I would also like people to know that you can get past the horrors of your childhood. I would like to inspire.

I know I’m ahead of myself-as I said, I don’t have the best writing skills, and if publishing a book were easy everyone would be doing it. But I like to plan for all scenarios, and these are the things my head comes up with.

At any rate, I’ve decided to write at least one short story this weekend. I have a few subjects floating in my head, thanks to the inspiration I’ve received from reading other’s blogs.

Wish me luck. And have a FABULOUS weekend!