Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Keep On Learning

While driving home yesterday, I let my mind wander as I sometimes do, and I came up with this.

What if the reason I suffer from such horrible anxiety is because for the first 15 years of my life, I was required to keep secrets? I grew up always afraid someone was going to find out something- the abuse at home, the suicide attempts, hiding from my real father-I kept secrets for YEARS. Shhhhh…….

Then one day, I didn’t have to anymore. I could be who I was, with nothing to hide. But what if that secret keeping part of me is so ingrained, that now, when I’m surrounded by people, I’m afraid of them finding out?

Just a thought.

2 comments:

wirecutter said...

Gotta deal with life one step, one day at a time.
You're not alone in what you've been dealing with, believe me.

Lula said...

Thank you for that. It does help knowing I'm not alone.